## Part 1: The Journey Begins - From Notes to Memoir I started writing my memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," on my phone's Notes app. It was a way for me to lay out my life story, and it eventually evolved into a full-fledged book. The process was revelatory, not just about my time on *Friends*, but about my entire life, including my struggles with addiction and my romantic relationships. When I first began, I had no idea where this journey would take me. But as the words flowed, it became clear that I was going to share intimate details about everything – from my time on *Friends* to my personal battles. Megan Lynch, the senior vice president at Flatiron Books, saw the potential in my story and was impressed by the real voice that came through in my writing. ## Part 2: Life on *Friends* - Camaraderie and Challenges My role as Chandler Bing on *Friends* was a turning point in my life. It was a show that not only made me famous but also saved my life in many ways. During the 10-year run of *Friends*, from 1994 to 2004, I went to rehab several times. My addiction was a constant battle, but the show kept me grounded. The set of *Friends* was a collaborative and supportive environment. We all negotiated our salaries together, ensuring that the three women were paid equally to their male counterparts, a rare example of gender equality at the time. Courtney Cox, who played Monica, set a tone of collaboration among the stars, encouraging us to give each other notes and feedback. The writers of the show took inspiration from our real lives. They would take each of us to lunch to get to know us better and incorporate our traits into our characters. For me, this meant highlighting my fear of intimacy, my addiction to cigarettes, and my use of humor to hide underlying emotional pain. ## Part 3: The Big Terrible Thing - Addiction and Its Consequences The "big terrible thing" in my life was my addiction to drugs and alcohol. It was a constant companion, one that I struggled with even during the height of my success on *Friends*. In 1997, I went to rehab for the first time, but I quickly fell back into drinking. In 2000, I was diagnosed with pancreatitis due to my heavy drinking, and I had to receive treatment. My addiction affected my work and my relationships. During the filming of the movie *Serving Sara*, my performance was so bad that I had to dub over my lines because I was slurring them. I had to pay the production for damages because they had to stop filming so I could go to rehab. Jennifer Aniston, my *Friends* co-star, confronted me about my drinking. She told me, "I know you're drinking," and when I asked how she could tell, she said, "We can smell it." This moment hit me hard, realizing that my addiction was not just my problem but also affected those around me. ## Part 4: Romantic Relationships and Misadventures My romantic life was a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I had a crush on Valerie Bertinelli, who was married to Eddie Van Halen at the time. One night, after Van Halen got drunk and passed out, Valerie and I had a long, elaborate makeout session. The next morning, she acted as if nothing had happened, leaving me devastated. Dating Julia Roberts was another significant experience. I was constantly afraid she would break up with me, feeling I was not enough for her. Instead of facing the inevitable, I broke up with her, which left her confused and me heartbroken. I also went on a date with Cameron Diaz after her split from Justin Timberlake. The date was a disaster; she got stoned and wasn't interested in me at all. During a game of Pictionary, she accidentally punched me in the face while aiming for my shoulder. ## Part 5: The End of an Era and New Beginnings When *Friends* came to an end in 2004, it was an emotional time for everyone except me. I was taking Buprenorphine, an opioid that helps people overcome other opioid addictions, which made me feel numb. However, I realized the significance of the show's ending and asked the producers to let me deliver the last line. After *Friends*, I continued to struggle with my addiction. I made the heartbreaking decision to back out of the movie *Don't Look Up* after only shooting one scene, which didn't make it into the final cut. My health was in shambles, and I knew I needed to make a change. ## Part 6: Recovery and Reflection My journey to recovery was long and arduous. Reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous helped me understand my addiction and the narcissistic and selfish behaviors that came with it. My father intervened at one point, calling the producers of *Friends* and threatening to pull me off the show if they didn't give me time to recover. Today, I look back on my life with a mix of emotions. *Friends* saved my life in many ways, but it also put me through challenges that almost broke me. I am grateful for the support of my friends and family and for the opportunity to share my story, hoping it can help others who are struggling with similar issues. In the end, it's about finding a way to live with the "big terrible thing" and to use it as a lesson for growth and recovery. My story is one of hope and resilience, and I hope it can inspire others to face their own struggles head-on.

Here are the key insights from Matthew Perry's memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing": ## Part 1: The Journey Begins - From Notes to Memoir - Perry started writing his memoir on his phone's Notes app, which evolved into a full-fledged book detailing his life, including his time on *Friends* and his struggles with addiction. ## Part 2: Life on *Friends* - Camaraderie and Challenges - Perry's role as Chandler Bing was a turning point in his life, making him famous but also keeping him grounded despite his addiction battles during the show's 10-year run. - The *Friends* set was collaborative, with the cast negotiating equal salaries for the female stars, a rare example of gender equality at the time. - The writers incorporated the cast's real-life traits into their characters, highlighting Perry's fear of intimacy and use of humor to hide emotional pain. ## Part 3: The Big Terrible Thing - Addiction and Its Consequences - Perry's addiction to drugs and alcohol was a constant struggle, even during his success on *Friends*. He went to rehab multiple times and was diagnosed with pancreatitis in 2000 due to heavy drinking. - His addiction affected his work, such as during the filming of *Serving Sara*, where he had to dub over his lines and pay damages for production delays. - Jennifer Aniston confronted him about his drinking, making him realize his addiction impacted those around him. ## Part 4: Romantic Relationships and Misadventures - Perry had tumultuous romantic relationships, including a crush on Valerie Bertinelli, a relationship with Julia Roberts marked by insecurity, and a disastrous date with Cameron Diaz. ## Part 5: The End of an Era and New Beginnings - When *Friends* ended in 2004, Perry was taking Buprenorphine, which made him feel numb, but he still recognized the show's significance and delivered the last line. - After *Friends*, he continued to struggle with addiction, leading to him backing out of the movie *Don't Look Up* due to poor health. ## Part 6: Recovery and Reflection - Reading the *Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous* helped Perry understand his addiction and associated behaviors. His father intervened to help him recover during his time on *Friends*. - Perry's journey to recovery was long and arduous, involving multiple rehab stays and relapses, but he found hope and resilience in his struggles. ### Additional Insights - Perry spent over $7 million on 15 rehab stays and endured multiple health crises, including a coma and several surgeries, due to his addiction. - He emphasized the importance of honesty, seeking help, and never giving up in the recovery process, encouraging others to follow his example. - Perry's memoir is a candid account of his struggles and recovery, aiming to help others by sharing his story and the lessons he learned.