## The Year of Yes: My Journey to Embracing Life ### The Grenade of a Conversation It was Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 2013, and my life was about to take a dramatic turn. My sister Delorse, while dicing vegetables with a large knife, muttered six words that would change everything: "You never say yes to anything." These words, though spoken softly, hit me like a grenade. I couldn’t shake them off; they lingered, forcing me to confront some hard truths about myself. I had always been the type to say no, to avoid anything that scared me or made me uncomfortable. But on that day, something inside me shifted. I realized I was miserable, not just in that moment, but in a deeper, more profound way. I was ashamed to admit it, but it was true. I was living a life that was not truly mine. ### The Year of Yes Begins I decided then and there that I would embark on a year-long journey of saying yes to everything that scared me. This was not just about accepting invitations or taking on new challenges; it was about embracing life in all its complexity and uncertainty. The first few months were tough. I had to push myself out of my comfort zone constantly. I started saying yes to publicity opportunities, something I had always dreaded. I remember being a "walking panic attack" during interviews and public appearances, but I persisted. My publicist, Chris, played a crucial role in holding me accountable, ensuring that I followed through on my commitment to say yes. ### Facing Fears and Finding Empowerment As the year progressed, I began to face my fears head-on. I gave speeches, including a commencement address at Dartmouth, which was a turning point for me. Standing in front of thousands of people, I felt my heart racing, but I spoke my truth. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. I learned to assert my boundaries and engage in conflicts that I would previously have avoided. Saying no to things that didn’t serve me became just as important as saying yes to new experiences. This newfound ability to navigate conflict brought me peace and confidence in my relationships. ### Embracing My Truth One of the most significant realizations during my Year of Yes was the importance of embracing my true self. I stopped trying to conform to societal standards and instead lived according to my own truth. This meant being honest about my beliefs, preferences, and limitations. It was liberating to be myself, without the fear of judgment or rejection. I also learned from my own characters, like Christina Yang from *Grey’s Anatomy*. Her strength and resilience inspired me to demand more from myself and those around me. As I often say, "If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more." ### Motherhood and Balance Motherhood was another area where my Year of Yes had a profound impact. Being a mother is a constant challenge, but it also brings immense joy. I realized that I needed to balance my work and family life better. Saying yes to playtime with my children and rethinking my relationship with food were crucial steps in this journey. I started prioritizing my health and well-being, which made me feel more alive than ever. However, saying yes to everything also meant I was away from home too often, away from my children, and away from sleep. It was a delicate balance to maintain, but my family helped ground me. They reminded me that it was okay to say no sometimes, to prioritize what truly mattered. ### The Power of Presence One of the most valuable lessons I learned during my Year of Yes was the importance of being present. In a world filled with distractions, it’s easy to lose ourselves in our to-do lists and cell phones. But true happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. It comes from being who you actually are, instead of who you think you are supposed to be. I started making time for uninterrupted moments with my loved ones. No cell phones, no laundry, no growing to-do lists. Just us, in the moment. This simple act of presence expanded my heart, grew my mind, and opened my soul. ### The Transformation By the end of my Year of Yes, I had transformed in ways I never thought possible. My sister Delorse, who had sparked this journey, looked at me with pride and said, "You were joyless. All you ever did was sleep. Literally. And metaphorically. You were asleep. I was worried. Life is short. Yours seemed really, really short. And now you have completely transformed. You’re alive. You’re living." I saw the difference in myself too. I was no longer the person who said no to everything; I was a person who said yes to life. I was brave, amazing, and worthy. And every single time I got the chance, I stood up, let people see me, spoke, and was heard. ### The Legacy of Yes The Year of Yes taught me that happiness comes from living authentically. It comes from embracing who you are and what makes you happy. It’s about being brave enough to stand in front of people, to let them see you, even when it’s scary. As I look back on that year, I realize that every yes was transformative. Every yes sparked a new phase of revolution within me. I became a person who was not just surviving but thriving. And I hope that my story can inspire others to do the same – to say yes to the unexpected, to the things that scare them, and to the life they truly desire. In the end, it’s not about the big, grand gestures; it’s about the small, everyday choices. It’s about saying yes to play, to our bodies, to love, and to what makes us happy. So, go ahead and say yes. Yes to everything that feels goofy. Yes to everything. Because in the end, that’s what life is all about – living, truly living.

Here are the key insights from Shonda Rhimes' book "Year of Yes: My Journey to Embracing Life": ## The Power of a Simple Observation - A comment from Shonda's sister Delorse, "You never say yes to anything," sparked a profound change in her life, highlighting the impact of honest feedback on personal growth. ## Embracing Fear and Uncertainty - Shonda committed to a year of saying yes to everything that scared her, pushing her out of her comfort zone and leading to significant personal growth and empowerment. ## The Importance of Accountability - Having a strong support network, such as her publicist Chris, was crucial in holding her accountable to her commitment to say yes to new challenges and opportunities. ## Facing Fears and Asserting Boundaries - Shonda learned to face her fears head-on, including public speaking and conflict, which brought her peace and confidence in her relationships. She also learned the importance of saying no to things that didn’t serve her. ## Embracing True Self - Shonda stopped conforming to societal standards and instead lived according to her own truth, which was liberating and helped her demand more from herself and others. ## Balancing Motherhood and Work - The Year of Yes helped Shonda balance her work and family life better, prioritizing playtime with her children, rethinking her relationship with food, and focusing on her health and well-being. ## The Value of Presence - Shonda emphasized the importance of being present and giving uninterrupted attention to loved ones, which expanded her heart, grew her mind, and opened her soul. ## Transformation Through Small Choices - The Year of Yes taught Shonda that happiness comes from living authentically and making small, everyday choices to say yes to what makes one happy, rather than grand gestures. ## Letting Go of Stale Relationships - Shonda learned to let go of friendships that were not good for her and strengthened relationships with people who genuinely supported her growth. ## Self-Love and Acceptance - By the end of her Year of Yes, Shonda had transformed into a person who loved and accepted herself, feeling brave, amazing, and worthy. ## Legacy of Yes - The book inspires others to say yes to the unexpected, to things that scare them, and to the life they truly desire, emphasizing that true living comes from embracing life fully.