Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today ## The Stranger in the Mirror Imagine for a moment that you could sit down and have a conversation with your future self. What would you say? How would that encounter change the way you live your life today? As a psychologist who has spent over a decade researching how people think about and relate to their future selves, I've found that most of us view our future selves as strangers. When we try to imagine who we'll be in 10, 20, or 30 years, our brains react as if we're thinking about a different person entirely. This psychological distance makes it challenging for us to make decisions that benefit our long-term wellbeing. Think about the last time you chose immediate gratification over long-term gain - perhaps reaching for a sugary snack instead of a healthier option, or splurging on an impulse purchase rather than saving for retirement. In those moments, we often fail to consider how our choices impact our future selves. We prioritize the desires and emotions of our present self, treating our future self as a stranger whose needs don't feel as pressing or real. But here's the thing: that future version of you is just as real and deserving of care as your present self. By learning to connect more deeply with your future self, you can make wiser choices that create a better life for both your present and future selves. ## The Science of Future Thinking To understand why we struggle to relate to our future selves, we need to look at how our brains process time and identity. Neuroscience research shows that when we think about our future selves, it activates similar brain regions as when we think about other people. In other words, our brains treat our future selves almost as if they were strangers. This disconnect stems from what psychologists call "temporal discounting" - our tendency to place less value on future rewards compared to immediate ones. It's why so many of us struggle to save for retirement or stick to long-term health goals. The future feels abstract and far away, while our present needs and desires feel urgent and real. But here's the good news: we can train our brains to bridge this gap. Studies have shown that people who feel more connected to their future selves make better long-term decisions. They save more for retirement, exercise more regularly, and are less likely to engage in unethical behavior. By strengthening our relationship with our future selves, we can align our present actions with our long-term wellbeing. ## Strategies for Connecting with Your Future Self So how can we cultivate a stronger bond with our future selves? Here are some evidence-based strategies I've found to be effective: Visualize your future self: Take time to vividly imagine your life 10, 20, or 30 years from now. What do you look like? What are your daily routines? What matters most to you? The more detailed and emotionally resonant this mental image, the more real your future self will feel. Write a letter to your future self: Websites like FutureMe.org allow you to write emails to your future self that will be delivered on a specified date. This exercise helps concretize your future identity and goals. Use age-progression technology: Apps and websites that show how you might look as you age can make your future self feel more tangible and relatable. Practice "future-self continuity": Regularly reflect on how your current actions will impact your future self. Before making a decision, ask yourself: "How will my future self feel about this choice?" Create vivid future scenarios: When setting long-term goals, imagine specific scenes from your desired future in rich sensory detail. This makes abstract future rewards feel more immediate and motivating. By regularly engaging in these practices, you can strengthen your psychological connection to your future self. This, in turn, can help you make choices that balance present enjoyment with long-term wellbeing. ## Overcoming Present Bias Even as we work to connect with our future selves, we must recognize the powerful pull of the present. Our brains are wired to prioritize immediate rewards over delayed gratification. This "present bias" served our ancestors well in environments of scarcity, but it can lead us astray in our modern world of abundance and long-term planning. To overcome present bias, we need strategies that make future benefits more salient and immediate costs less painful. Here are a few approaches that can help: Temptation bundling: Pair a behavior that benefits your future self with something immediately enjoyable. For example, only allow yourself to watch your favorite TV show while exercising. Reframe sacrifices: Instead of viewing healthy choices as deprivation, frame them as gifts to your future self. That salad isn't punishment - it's an investment in your long-term health and vitality. Use commitment devices: Create external structures that hold you accountable to your future-oriented goals. This might involve publicly declaring your intentions or setting up automatic savings transfers. Practice mental contrasting: Vividly imagine your desired future, then contrast it with the obstacles in your present reality. This technique has been shown to increase motivation and goal attainment. By employing these strategies, we can begin to overcome our innate present bias and make choices that serve both our present and future selves. ## Cultivating Future-Oriented Decision Making As we strengthen our connection to our future selves and learn to overcome present bias, we can develop a more balanced approach to decision-making. The goal isn't to completely sacrifice present enjoyment for future gain. Rather, it's to make choices that create positive outcomes across our entire life span. Here are some key principles for cultivating future-oriented decision making: Consider multiple time horizons: When facing a decision, consider its impact not just in the moment, but a week, a month, a year, and a decade from now. This broader perspective can reveal the true costs and benefits of our choices. Practice empathy for your future self: Before making a decision, take a moment to imagine how your future self will feel about the consequences. This exercise in temporal empathy can guide you towards wiser choices. Seek balance, not perfection: The occasional indulgence or short-term focus isn't inherently bad. The key is finding a sustainable balance between present enjoyment and future wellbeing. Regularly revisit and revise your future vision: Our goals and values evolve over time. Periodically check in with yourself to ensure your actions align with your current vision for the future. By integrating these principles into our decision-making process, we can create lives that are fulfilling in the present while setting ourselves up for long-term success and satisfaction. ## Conclusion: Befriending Your Future Self The journey of connecting with and caring for our future selves is ongoing. It requires consistent effort and mindfulness to overcome our hardwired present bias. But the rewards of this practice are profound. By cultivating a strong relationship with our future selves, we can make choices that lead to greater health, wealth, and happiness across our entire lifespan. Remember, your future self is not a stranger - it's you, shaped by the accumulation of your daily choices and experiences. By treating your future self with the same care and consideration you'd offer a dear friend, you can create a life of purpose, growth, and lasting fulfillment. So I invite you to begin this journey today. Take a moment to envision your future self and consider how your present actions are shaping that future reality. With practice and patience, you can learn to make decisions that honor both your present needs and your future aspirations. Your future self will thank you for it.

Here are key insights from the book "Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today" by Hal Hershfield: ## Future Self as a Stranger Our brains often perceive our future selves as strangers, activating similar neural pathways as when thinking about other people. This psychological distance makes it challenging to make decisions benefiting our long-term wellbeing. ## Temporal Discounting We tend to place less value on future rewards compared to immediate ones, a phenomenon known as "temporal discounting." This explains why many struggle with long-term goals like saving for retirement or maintaining health. ## Connection Improves Decision-Making People who feel more connected to their future selves make better long-term decisions, including saving more, exercising regularly, and behaving more ethically. ## Visualization Techniques Vividly imagining your future self, writing letters to your future self, and using age-progression technology can help strengthen the connection to your future identity. ## Overcoming Present Bias Strategies like temptation bundling, reframing sacrifices as investments, and using commitment devices can help overcome our innate bias towards immediate gratification. ## Balanced Decision-Making The goal is not to sacrifice all present enjoyment, but to make choices that create positive outcomes across your entire lifespan. Consider multiple time horizons when making decisions. ## Empathy for Future Self Practicing empathy for your future self by imagining how they will feel about your current choices can guide you towards wiser decisions. ## Evolving Future Vision Regularly revisit and revise your vision for the future, as goals and values evolve over time. Ensure your actions align with your current long-term aspirations. ## Continuous Practice Connecting with and caring for your future self is an ongoing process requiring consistent effort and mindfulness to overcome hardwired present bias. ## Holistic Self-Care By treating your future self with the same care you'd offer a close friend, you can create a life of purpose, growth, and lasting fulfillment across your entire lifespan.