## Part 1: Caged - The Journey Begins
As I reflect on my life, I realize that for a long time, I was living in a cage, a prison constructed by the world's expectations, especially those imposed on women. In my memoir, *Untamed*, I share my journey of breaking free from these constraints and embracing my true, wild self.
I was once the epitome of the "good girl" – a devoted wife, a responsible mother, and a dutiful daughter. But beneath the surface, I was suffocating under the weight of societal norms. My marriage, though outwardly perfect, was a facade. I was trapped in a life that wasn't mine, and this feeling of being caged manifested in various ways, including my struggles with bulimia and alcoholism. These were my attempts to control the unhappiness that gnawed at me, but they only led to more suffering.
One of the pivotal moments in my journey was when I met Abby Wambach, the American soccer player who would later become my wife. Seeing Abby was like a wake-up call; she embodied a freedom and authenticity that I had never seen before. This encounter made me question everything I thought I knew about life and love.
## Part 2: The Voice of the Girl - Reclaiming Authenticity
For years, I had silenced the "voice of the girl" within me – the authentic, untamed part of myself. This voice was buried under layers of conditioning that taught me to be selfless, accommodating, and always to choose the "right thing." But as I began to listen to this voice again, I realized that it was the key to my freedom.
I recall a conversation with my therapist where I confessed my feelings for Abby. Instead of support, I was advised to try harder in my marriage, to give my husband more intimacy. This moment was a stark reminder of how deeply ingrained the "good girl" conditioning was. It was time for me to break free from these expectations and start living my truth.
Abby became the catalyst for my transformation. She represented a life where one could be true to oneself without apology. Our relationship was not just a love story; it was a journey of self-discovery and liberation.
## Part 3: Challenging Societal Expectations - Redefining Family and Love
One of the most significant challenges I faced was redefining what family and love meant to me. Society often pushes women into heterosexual marriages and traditional family structures, even if they don't align with their true desires. My friend Megan's story is a poignant example of this. She married a man to avoid disappointing others, only to find herself miserable and turning to alcohol to cope.
I realized that I had been living a similar lie. I used my children as an excuse to avoid being brave, to avoid making the changes I needed to make. But as I looked myself in the eyes, I knew I had to stop using them as a reason to stay in a marriage that wasn't true to me.
Leaving my husband was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but it was also the most liberating. It allowed me to build a new life with Abby, a life that was authentic and full of love. Our blended family was not traditional, but it was whole and loving. We created a space where each member could bring their full self to the table, knowing they would be both held and free.
## Part 4: Body Image and Self-Acceptance - Embracing Our True Selves
Body image is another powerful theme in my journey. Societal expectations around body image are relentless, pushing women to conform to an ideal that is often unattainable. I struggled with an eating disorder, bulimia, which was a manifestation of my attempt to control my body and my life.
But as I journeyed deeper into self-acceptance, I realized that embracing my true self was not just empowering but essential. I learned to see that self-acceptance is not about achieving a certain look or size but about honoring my body and its needs.
As I reflect on my experiences, I understand that women are often told to lose themselves in the process of pleasing others. But I believe that what we need are women who are full of themselves, women who trust themselves enough to say and do what must be done. This is the essence of being untamed.
## Part 5: Mental Health and Privilege - Facing the Truth
My journey also involved confronting my mental health and the privilege that had shielded me from certain realities. I had been to a mental hospital, struggled with addictions, and grappled with the infidelity of my husband. These experiences were painful, but they were also transformative.
I realized that being human is hard, not because we're doing it wrong, but because we're doing it right. The challenges we face are part of the journey, and it's through these challenges that we grow. I learned to sit in the fire of my own feelings, to let pain be the fuel of my revolution.
Privilege is another aspect I had to confront. I understood that privilege is not just about being born into a certain status but also about the ignorance and malice that can come with it. Recognizing my own privilege and the ways in which it had protected me was a crucial step in my growth.
## Part 6: Embracing the Truest, Most Beautiful Life - The Path Forward
In the end, my journey taught me that the truest, most beautiful life never promises to be an easy one. It is a life of perpetual revolution, where pain and emotions are the fire that transforms us into our true selves.
I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever. This is not a static state but a continuous process of growth and transformation. I have learned to trust my inner voice, to challenge societal expectations, and to redefine what family and love mean to me.
As I look back, I realize that the only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that there was something wrong with me. I am worthy of rest, of love, and of living a life that is true and beautiful enough for me.
In *Untamed*, I encourage readers to let go of the restrictive expectations that women face and to live their truest, fullest lives. It is a call to embrace our wildest instincts, to honor our anger and heartbreak, and to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries and make peace with our bodies.
This journey is not easy, but it is essential. As I say, "Every life is an unprecedented experiment. This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been. There is no map. We are all pioneers." And it is in this pioneering spirit that we find our true freedom.
Here are the key insights from Glennon Doyle's book *Untamed*:
## Breaking Free from Societal Expectations
- The book highlights the author's journey of escaping the "cage" constructed by societal expectations, particularly those imposed on women, and embracing her true, wild self.
## The "Good Girl" Conditioning
- Doyle discusses how deeply ingrained the "good girl" conditioning is, which teaches women to be selfless, accommodating, and always choose the "right thing," and how she broke free from this conditioning to live her truth.
## The Catalyst for Change
- Meeting Abby Wambach, the American soccer player who became her wife, was a pivotal moment that made Doyle question everything she thought she knew about life and love, leading to her transformation.
## Redefining Family and Love
- Doyle challenges traditional societal expectations of family and love, particularly for women, and shares her experience of building a new, authentic life with Abby and creating a blended family where each member can be their full self.
## Body Image and Self-Acceptance
- The book emphasizes the struggle with body image and the relentless societal pressures to conform to an ideal. Doyle's personal journey with bulimia and her path to self-acceptance highlight the importance of honoring one's body and its needs.
## Mental Health and Privilege
- Doyle confronts her mental health issues, including her experiences with addiction and a mental hospital visit, and acknowledges the privilege that had shielded her from certain realities. Recognizing and addressing privilege was crucial to her growth.
## Embracing True Self
- The author stresses that women need to stop losing themselves in the process of pleasing others and instead become full of themselves, trusting themselves enough to say and do what must be done.
## The Power of Authenticity
- Doyle's journey shows that authenticity and living one's truth, even if it means challenging societal norms, is essential for freedom and a fuller, richer life.
## Setting Boundaries and Honoring Emotions
- The book encourages readers to set boundaries, honor their anger and heartbreak, and make peace with their bodies, which are critical steps in living an untamed life.
## Continuous Growth and Transformation
- Doyle emphasizes that the truest, most beautiful life is one of perpetual revolution and growth, where pain and emotions are the fuel for transformation into one's true self.
## Self-Worth and Inner Voice
- The author concludes that the only thing wrong with her was her belief that there was something wrong with her, and she encourages readers to trust their inner voice and recognize their worthiness of rest, love, and a true and beautiful life.